Moonlight Rave
by Slash Mistress
Summary: Sam feels betrayed after Brooke slept with Harrison so she tries to ease her pain by going to a rave. There's more to the story. . . (Warning: F/F slash!)
1. Moonlight Rave (1/4)

Title: Moonlight Rave  
Author: Melanie M. AKA SailorFireStarr@aol.com/SSailorUranuss@aol.com  
Archive: please ASK if you want to archive it.  
Pairing: Sam/Nicole  
Rating: R/NC-17  
Warnings: language, sexual content, etc.  
Disclaimers: I'm not privileged enough to own Popular or any of the characters, I'm just a thriving artist using the characters for my own bidding and twistedness.  
Comments: I really need feedback and stuff  
  
Moonlight Rave  
  
The air was still and after what had just happened she couldn't stand to be in the same room as Brooke McQueen. She couldn't believe that the one person she thought she could trust had betrayed her by sleeping with Harrison. First the dreams began to haunt her and now this secret had to surface.  
  
She'd had two reoccurring dreams in the past week and she couldn't stand either of them. The first had been a dream about what had in fact happened. It was about Brooke fucking Harrison. Every time she woke from that dream her stomach was turning and she felt like puking. Her second dream was more frightful than the first one. It would start out with her and Brooke getting into a fight and she'd run off to be alone. She'd always end up in rave and run into Nicole. The most horrifying part came next. Nicole would lead her into the back and they would start kissing. Touching each other gently as they made out. The dream would go black and just before she would wake in a cold sweat she would see an image of Nicole holding her tight as the sun rose.  
  
Why did it scare her? Because she knew deep down that she wanted Nicole Julian with a passion. That was what she didn't want to admit to herself. She kept telling herself that the dream was created because of some morbid curiosity that was hidden in the back of her mind. Right now all she could think about was hiding away from everybody and crying herself to sleep somewhere.  
  
"Sam!" she heard a male voice call. She turned to see this guy named Caleb from her second hour. "Hey," she greeted, not sounding to thrilled with his presence. "Look, I saw you walking and thought you looked down so I came over here to ask if you'd like to go with me and my friends to the Moonlight Rave. Aurora really thinks it would be a good experience for you," he panted, trying to catch his breath. "Wasn't there a rave named Aurora?" Sam questioned, seeming very interested. "Yeah, that was her rave. They threw it together for her," he answered. Sam glanced over to Caleb's group of friends and caught a glimpse of a very beautiful girl waving at her.  
  
"So you going with us?" Caleb inquired, interrupting Sam's thoughts. Sam smiled. "Wouldn't miss it for the world," she replied as he led her over to his group of friends. "Hi, I'm Aurora but everybody calls me Roe," the beautiful blonde with a very nice tan and sparkling baby blue eyes said softly, introducing herself in a way Sam had never been exposed to before. She was kind yet rough around the edges and Sam loved that.  
  
"My name's Sam," she said softly as they headed toward the school parking lot. "Pleased to meet you Sam," Roe said as she took the journalist's hand and led her into the back of Caleb's truck. Sam laid in the back on a small couch that had been installed for comfort. "So, this your first rave?" Aurora purred into Sam's ear. Sam nodded and smiled shyly. "Here, have a soda," Aurora offered with a friendly smile. Sam thanked her and sipped the drink.  
  
By the time they got to the rave Sam had finished her drink and she was ready to party. Little did she know that the soda she's had so much of had Ecstasy in it. She didn't drink enough to kill her but one thing was for sure, she was going to be a hell of a lot sweeter and fresher with people tonight.  
  
They entered the rave and the song "Run Away" by Real McCoy blared into their ears. Sam began to dance as the group she was with dispersed. She danced her heart out, bouncing around with a smile. After dancing for over an hour Sam went to get a drink of water when she bumped into somebody that seemed familiar.  
  
Nicole spun around to meet Sam's gaze and smiled. "Hey Spam, didn't know you liked raves," the Queen bitch of Kennedy High said over the music. Sam could tell her arch nemesis was extremely high but she didn't care. I felt good to see Nicole in a good, non-bitchy mood. "You'd be surprised," Sam yelled back. Nicole captured the journalist's eyes with her own, then whispered softly, " Would you like to dance?"  
  
Sam was taken back by the question but gladly accepted. Nicole led her back into the crowd and they began to dance to the song "Rhythm Is A Dancer" by Snapp. Sam noticed Nic dancing really close, so close that their bodies were nearly touching. Sam danced closer, their hot, sweaty bodies now touching briefly when the moved in certain directions.  
  
When the song ended Nicole dragged Sam outside with a smile. "Where are we going?" Sam giggled, still tripping on the ecstasy. Nicole opened the car door. "Do you mind going to my house?" the cheerleader asked and Sam instantly shook her head. This was fun.  
  
When they got to the Julian residence Nicole welcomed Sam and ushered her to her room. Sam laid on the bed watching Nicole wiggle out of her clothes and into a see-through nightgown. Sam could feel her mouth watering as her eyes raced up and down her enemy's body. Nicole settled in next to Sam and gazed seductively into her eyes. She slowly leaned in and pressed her pouty lips to Sam's. They kissed for what seemed to be an eternity. When the kiss broke Sam pinned Nicole to the bed. "Sam, take me I'm yours," Nicole gasped as Sam ripped her nightgown off.  
  
Sam threw her own clothes to the floor then stripped Nicole of what was left of her clothes. Sam hungrily kissed Nicole as she pushed her body onto the blonde's. They let their hand dart about aimlessly, pleasing each other as best as they could. By the nights end, they were both very spent and sleep was not hard to achieve.  
  
The sun rose to wake Sam from her slumber. She woke with a yawn and mumbled idly, "that damn dream again." She stretched her very beautifully pale limbs and laid on her side. Then she saw the form next to her. It was Nicole Julian. Sam smiled, not regretting a moment of the night before. She admired Nicole's beauty for a moment then decided upon waking the sleeping beauty. She pressed her lips to Nicole's and that's when reality hit her.  
  
This wasn't a dream, this was real! How could this be real? She couldn't believe it was real. It was impossible, right? Nicole began to stir with a smile. "Good morning gorgeous," she whispered, also under the impression it was a dream. When she saw the look in Sam's eye's she knew this was no dream. "So where do we go from here?" Sam whispered.  
  
TBC. . .  
  
What do you think? Good start? 


	2. Moonlight Rave (2/4)

Title: Moonlight Rave (2/?)  
Author: Melanie M./Shai/Misty AKA SailorFireStarr@aol.com/SSailorUranuss@aol.com  
Archive: please ASK if you want to archive it.  
Pairing: Sam/Nicole, assorted others (I think you'll like)  
Rating: R/NC-17  
Warnings: language, sexual content, etc.  
Disclaimers: I'm not privileged enough to own Popular or any of the characters, I'm just a thriving artist using the characters for my own bidding and twistedness.  
Comments: I really need feedback and stuff  
Note: Lily and Josh have split up and are no more as a couple. They're still friends but that's it.  
  
"Sam, last night. . ." for once Nicole didn't know what to say. Sam saw the confusion in the blonde's gorgeous baby blues and instinctively pressed her lips to Nicole's. For a moment all they wanted was to stay in that moment forever but when reality came back to them a deadly silence formed.  
  
"We made love," Sam whispered, shattering the stillness in the air. Saying it out loud made it sound more thrilling yet wrong at the same time. How could something so beautiful feel so wrong?  
  
This time Nicole kissed Sam, deep and passionate. Neither wanted to pull away but it had to be done. "Satan. . ." Sam was hushed by Nicole's slender finger on her lips. "Spam, I don't regret last night and maybe I want to see more of you but there are complications. Big ones that need tending to first. Just remember that you hate me with a passion and they wont have a clue. I have to warn you about my temper and my crazy emotions though. I'm not saying we're going steady or anything, I'm just saying I want to know who you really are inside that tough, sexy journalist body of yours," Nicole stated in a soothing tone.  
  
Sam playfully licked Nicole's finger then spoke in a more tranquil tone than before, "I want to know you to. There's a thin line between love and hate. I hate to love you and I love to hate you. You hate me with a passion as well Satan, don't forget that. I'm falling for you Satan, I'm falling deep and I'm afraid I can never go back."  
  
"Shhh, we can talk later. It's six a.m. Let's go back to sleep," Nicole cooed, kissing Sam softly. Sam kissed back, whispering between kisses, "mmmh, not until we relive last night."  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Brooke paced and sighed. Why was Sam still gone? That was the easy question to answer. The more complicated ones were where she was and who she was with. Sleeping with Harrison had been the worst thing she'd ever done and now she regretted it more than ever. She didn't love him, she loved. . .well, right now she wasn't quite sure but it definitely wasn't Harrison.  
  
She'd been thinking about Nicole a lot. She'd been throwing her out of her life every instant she got the chance but it was because of her confusion that she was doing so. Right after she slept with Harrison this epiphany had struck her and now she didn't know what to do. She just wanted to be curled up somewhere quiet so she could think.  
  
'God, what's wrong with me? It's simple but so convoluted. Why do I love her and do I tell her? I really need somebody to talk to but I'm stuck here until Sam comes back. Well, might as well get some reading done,' she thought, picking up the latest edition of the "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" collection and sitting on the couch to read it.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Nicole woke and stretched. Had it all been a dream? She crawled out of bed and made a beeline for the shower. Entering the steamy bathroom she gathered that it had been far from a dream. "Mind if I join you gorgeous?" Nicole purred.  
  
Sam grinned. "Not at all tiger as long as you promise to dry me off," she purred, staring at the blond through the steam.  
  
Nicole turned her radio on and blasted the song "Pour Some Sugar on Me" by Def Leppard. Nicole began to unbutton her sexy pajamas as she sung along, "Love is like a bomb, baby, c'mon get it on." A few verses flew by then she continue to sing and strip, "Sometime, anytime. Sugar me sweet. Little miss ah innocent sugar me, yeah. C'mon. Take a bottle, shake it up. Break the bubble, break it up."  
  
Nic got an evil look in her eyes as she watched the look on Sam's face change from giddy and perky to hot and sweaty. She cupped the brunettes cheek and caressed it innocently as she sang softly, shivering when the right words were spoken, "Pour some sugar on me, ooh, in the name of love. Pour some sugar on me, c'mon fire me up. Pour your sugar on me, oh, I can't get enough."  
  
Sam was ready to pounce on the blonde any moment. This was like torture to her mind and body. One of the greatest hits of the 80's sung by a very tempting, teasing, sexy blonde cheerleader who wanted nothing more than to take her on right there in the shower. Her heart was racing and she was hotter than the 4th of July in Arizona. If Nicole didn't stop now she didn't know if she could hold back.  
  
Nicole climbed in the shower, sliding her hand away from Sam's cheek. She trailed her hand down her own body, whispering hotly, "I'm hot, sticky sweet from my head to my feet, yeah." This whole thing was meant to turn Sam on but Nicole was burning up. The look on Sam's face told her she was doing a pretty good job of turning her on but would she make the move?  
  
Sam couldn't take it. She pinned Nicole against the shower wall and kissed her hard on the lips. "I want you," Sam's slightly shaky voice whispered into Nicole's ear.  
  
"Want, take, have," Nic shivered as Sam exhaled into her ear.  
  
Sam focused her eyes on Nicole's and realized one thing she hadn't before. The Ice Queen looked at her the way she never thought anybody would, like a lover would. It was like Nicole could see inside of her and the only way to break past the emotional barriers was to force her to let go. She'd told Nicole a lot the night before and maybe it wasn't all that bad that she had. Maybe Nicole was doing this for the sex. Sam shook the thought away, dismissing it as an insecurity.  
  
Nicole knew this was the only way both her and Sam could relax enough to deal with this whole situation and the only way she could bring herself to tell Sam everything. Once her soul was bared complications wouldn't matter anymore but that didn't mean she'd stop loving Sam. Wait, loving Sam? When did that happen? Nicole blocked her thoughts for the moment and bit her bottom lip sexily.  
  
Sam kissed those pouty lips softly, now more passionate and less desperate. This wasn't just sex, after all, it was making love ( ::Mary Cherry snickers:: Ah thank Nikki's found herself a new toy Brooke: where's the barf bucket? Lily: good question ::shutters:: Harrison: Now I like this picture ::evil grin:: ::Mel kicks him out of her mind and fic:: Mel: Damn male pigs. Where's security when you need them? Anyhow, would you all keep quite so I can finish writing ::Buffy appears and drags them away:: Buffy: Mel, you're free to write without further interruptions ::smiles:: but be careful, one might escape ::disappears:: Mel: Thank you).  
  
Nicole let Sam take the lead. It was more fun that way. With each fleeting kiss she became more intoxicated with a venom known to humans as love. Whether they wanted to admit it or not, they were falling in love with one another.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Lily brushed a few stray strands of hair from her face as she waited for the door to open. She needed to talk to Sam now. She'd been a mess over this problem for weeks and she didn't know if she should consider it a phase or act on her feelings.  
  
"Lily?"  
  
The pronunciation of her name caught her attention immediately considering the voice she heard wasn't Sam's. She raised her eyes to find Brooke standing in front of her in a pair of black cargos and a white "I'm not THAT innocent!" T-shirt. She could feel her cheeks burning as she spoke. "Is Sam here?"  
  
Brooke lowered her head as her eyes met the ground. "She hasn't been home since yesterday," she confessed, trying to hide her emotions.  
  
Lily's emotion detector was going crazy. Brooke looked like she needed a friend and if she could help then so be it. "Is something wrong? Aside from the obvious I mean."  
  
"You'd better come in and have a seat if you're gonna be my shrink," Brooke joked softly, leading the smaller girl up to her room.  
  
Lily looked around in amazement. Nothing glamorous or glitzy about her room, just a few things here and there. Quite frankly it surprised her. That was when Lily realized Brooke was a real, down to earth person, not some snooty super model with loads of stupid designer junk she never used. She'd known that but something inside of her just hadn't believed it until now.  
  
"Have a seat," Brooke offered.  
  
Lily sat quietly on the bed and Brooke sat beside her.  
  
"If you don't want to listen to me bitch and gripe you can leave," Brooke whispered, a little weary about talking to one of Sam's best friends about her problems.  
  
"Brooke, I may not be your best friend but I am a good listener and I'd be happy to help you in any way I can," Lily reassured kindly with a soft smile gracing her lips.  
  
Brooke gave a half smile. "Well, I guess my problem's not really that complicated but here we go. I slept with Harrison. That's problem one. Problem two is that I've been neglecting Nicole and three is that I'm in love but I don't exactly know how to tell them or if I should even open my mouth." Brooke sighed and looked into Lily's eyes.  
  
"First off, what happened between you and Harrison happened, you can't change that. I'm not saying to act like it never happened but if you're in love with somebody other than Harrison then you'll have to let it go. Second, Nicole is your best friend and I can't believe I'm saying this but she cares about you and I think you should take her to dinner or maybe a movie to make it up to her. She knows you've been going through a lot and I'm sure she understands. As for the third one, I don't know. That's kinda the same problem I have. That's why I came here to talk to Sam. I thought she might be able to help me." Lily sighed. Could Brooke possibly be talking about her? Nah, impossible.  
  
"Really? Seems like we're in the same rut, huh? If I told Nic, she'd flip. I mean. . ." Brooke quickly shut her mouth. 'Oh shit. I just blew my cover. Damn!' she thought.  
  
Lily swallowed hard. That really hurt. She knew it wasn't her but hearing that made her stomach turn and her heart sink. "Maybe you should just tell her. She is your best friend so it shouldn't be too bad." Lily felt tears welling up in her eyes. "I gotta go." She stood and rushed out of Brooke's room, down the stair and out the door in record time, leaving behind a very confused blonde.  
  
"Was it something I said?" Brooke whispered to herself.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Sam straightened her shirt then placed a feather light kiss on Nicole's lips. "You know I have to go soon, right?"  
  
"Yeah but we still need to figure out how we're going to pull this off."  
  
"Well, we could send e-mail to arrange dates or pass notes in the Novak when we pass each other to swap insults."  
  
"I like the e-mail idea. That way nobody can trace us or catch us," Nicole reasoned, handing Sam a small red post-it with hearts and an e-mail address on it.  
  
Sam chuckled softly. "It suites you. LittleSatan@bitch.us.cf (and yes, it really is an e-mail addy. I know this because it's mine ^.^)."  
  
"It's also my AIM screen name (which I also own ^.^)."  
  
Sam smiled and kissed Nicole one last time. "I'll see you tomorrow and I'll e-mail tonight."  
  
"Ok," Nic replied reluctantly. Love was such a funny thing, wasn't it?  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Carmen sighed heavily. "I take it your session with Sam went down stream."  
  
"I-I-I didn't even g-get to see Sam," the Latina sobbed.  
  
"What do you mean? Did you talk to Brooke?" Carmen got her answer as Lily nodded vigorously. "Oh god. What did she say? Does she like you like, you know?"  
  
"She's in love with a certain blonde bombshell. I told you before Carm, she'd never want me. I mean the love of her life is my total opposite. Popular, beautiful, rolling around in cash and doesn't have a care in the world," Lily whispered after clearing her throat and blowing her nose.  
  
"Lily, don't say that. You're very beautiful, well at least I think so. Popularity and money don't mean a thing when it comes to love. You've got a big heart and a kind personality Lily. Brooke's a complete idiot to not see that you love her and as far as Nicole is concerned, you're a much better person than her. You just have to remember that," Carmen cooed. 'God, I sound like a damn shrink,' she thought.  
  
"Your right about Nicole. She's cold and dead to everything. Wait, you think I'm beautiful?"  
  
"Yeah. You're very beautiful Lil," Carmen reassured with a smiled.  
  
Lily leaned in closer, pressing her lips to Carmen's. It must have been the moment but Lily didn't want to stop. She drew her best friend into a deep french kiss as she closed her eyes. What she found when her eyes closed scared her but it made sense. She was imagining Carmen was Brooke and being as creative as she was, she almost had herself convinced until Carmen pushed her away. "I-I'm sorry," Lily whispered, bowing her head and moving away from her friend.  
  
Carmen caught Lily by the arm. "Don't be. It's not you. You're hurting and I wouldn't take advantage of that. You're my best friend but I don't swing that way. I'm here if you need a shoulder to cry on or someone to hold you until you fall asleep but I do have my limits."  
  
Lily resumed her previous position next to Carmen and snuggled close to her. "That sounds like a good idea, if you're ok with that?"  
  
Carmen smiled, wrapping her arms around the smaller female. "Fine by me. Get some rest Lil, you need it."  
  
TBC. . . 


	3. Moonlight Rave (3/4)

Title: Moonlight Rave (3/?)  
Author: Melanie M./Shai/Misty AKA SailorFireStarr@aol.com/SSailorUranuss@aol.com  
Archive: please ASK if you want to archive it.  
Pairing: Sam/Nicole (soon there will be others)  
Rating: R/NC-17  
Warnings: language, sexual content, etc. Oh, another major warning. Blood, cutting and a psycho side of Lily nobody EVER expected.  
Disclaimers: I'm not privileged enough to own Popular or any of the characters, I'm just a thriving artist using the characters for my own bidding and twistedness and the song belongs to the Goo Goo Dolls, not me.  
Comments: I really need feedback. Remember, FEED ME! That is all.  
  
Moonlight Rave 3  
  
Sam waltzed cheerily into the McQueen-McPherson home and made nonchalant beeline for her bedroom. She really wanted to get online and talk to Nicole. By now she had had time to tie up and cage the part of her mind that was telling her she should just turn away from Nicole now and never look back. It was amazing how one night could change a girls whole way of thinking. Now she wanted to live on the edge, tell the world that Sam McPherson wasn't a dull gal or the kind you could simply toy with. She was actually loving every minute of this high and she hoped it would never end.  
  
She peeked into Brooke's room and was worried to see the poor girl curled up and staring into space with a solemn look.  
  
"Brooke? Are you ok?"  
  
Brooke jumped but eased, realizing it was only Sam. "Yeah," she replied weakly.  
  
That wasn't good enough for Sam. Something was wrong and she had a pretty good idea of what it was. "Did Lily come by?"  
  
Brooke nodded sadly.  
  
"Oh god, what did you say to her?"  
  
"Nothing really, just that I liked a certain someone. Then she ran out as fast as she could."  
  
"Oh shit," Sam cursed simply as she rushed to her room and dialed Lily's number. Not getting an answer Sam rushed out of her house and headed straight for Carmen's.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -   
  
Nicole sat listening to the new Melissa Etheridge hit "I Wanna Be In Love" as she sat in the tub thinking of the night before. The phone broke her dreamy state as it rang loudly. She took it from its tub side position and said cheerily into the phone, "Hello."  
  
"Hey Nic. Can you come over? I need to talk to you."  
  
"Brookie? What's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing, I just need to talk to you."  
  
"Ok, I'll be right there."  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -   
  
"Is she ok Carm?"  
  
"She'll be fine. Brooke just really hurt her when she said a name other than her's."  
  
"Did she tell you who?"  
  
"No. She said she didn't want to break Brooke's trust like that although the description gave away the identity of the mystery person. She asked me not to tell."  
  
"Go figure. Can I hang out here til she wakes up?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
They headed into the living room to find Lily sitting there quietly.  
  
"Lil," Sam said softly.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"She didn't mean to hurt you, really."  
  
"I know Sam but. . ."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I love her Sam."  
  
"WHAT?"  
  
"I tried to tell you that earlier but you were too upset to listen."  
  
"At least you're not in love with Satan." 'Thank god.'  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Lily, you should talk to her."  
  
"Maybe later. I don't think I could be in the same room as her right now."  
  
"Ok."  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"Brookie, hun, what's wrong?"  
  
"Nic, I. . ." Brooke couldn't seem to find the words so she found an action. She tentatively kissed her best friend.  
  
Nicole pulled away. "I can't."  
  
Brooke was taken back. She figured Nic would be having a bitch fit but all she had said was "I can't". "Why?"  
  
"I just can't."  
  
"Nic. . .please tell me why."  
  
"Brookie, I'm spoken for."  
  
"By who?"  
  
"That I'm not ready to tell you. I'm sorry hun. I love you and all but not that way and I'm sorry if I hurt you by saying what I did."  
  
Brooke smiled weakly. "It's ok Nic."  
  
Nicole hugged her best friend and sighed deeply. "We're not letting this come between us, right?"  
  
"Right," Brooke whispered, letting Nicole go as she pulled away.  
  
"I'd better go. Brookie, you'll find somebody. I know it."  
  
Brooke smiled weakly as her best friend left.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Lily sat in her room listening to "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls.  
  
~ And I'd give up forever to touch you  
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow  
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be  
And I don't want to go home right now ~  
  
Lily sighed deeply. She would give anything within reason to even hold Brooke's hand, touch her cheek or even sit next to her. She knew Brooke acknowledged her existence but not as a person. Only as one of Sam's friends. Brooke was her angel, the little piece of heaven that was just far enough out of reach and when she'd been talking to her she felt so close to the cheerleader, so completely content that it scared her. She didn't want to leave but those word hurt her so bad that she couldn't bare to stay.  
  
~ And all I can taste is this moment  
And all I can breathe is your life  
'Cause sooner or later it's over  
I just don't want to miss you tonight ~  
  
Sitting with Brooke had made her day, even if what she found out had hurt her. She had had a brief taste of happiness, a breath of life she'd never had before and she wanted so much more. Sitting there in her room she couldn't stop thinking of those gentle hazel eyes staring into hers, those kissable lips parting to speak and that serene voice speaking only to her. God, was she in too deep or what?  
  
~ And I don't want the world to see me  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am ~  
  
Looking at a picture of her family she sighed. She wanted Brooke to know what she felt but she wasn't ready to let the world see what she was. She wasn't ashamed but she knew that they wouldn't understand. None of them would. Boundaries would be broken, worlds and opinions shattered yet she still wanted Brooke to see her instead of seeing past her.  
  
~ And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming  
Or the moment of truth in your lies  
When everything feels like the movies  
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive ~  
  
Those lines struck her deep down and her emotions and memories began to run rampant. When she was young she would cry to let out frustration or anger but she had become unable to cry by age ten. She'd become solid as stone because of her family and truth had hardly been her game before high school. She'd been a very evil child but had seemingly turned that around. Or so she thought. She had her home life and her school life, no room to be evil. . except when she was alone. She hated being alone. She use to bleed to know she was alive, to know she existed and as bad as she felt right now it felt good to feel pain, to have something other than her lonely thoughts to accompany her great selection in mood music. Life seemed so surreal right now, so much like a teen drama she'd never pay any attention to on TV. She clutched her old pagan dagger in her right hand, its gold handle still as shiny as it had been the last time.  
  
~ And I don't want the world to see me  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am ~  
  
She threw her shirt to the side of the bed and slowly pierced her skin, leaving a small gash on her side. As the blood eased down her side she sighed as if in relief. She grabbed a small washcloth and held it to her wound as she dizzily sang the remainder of the song.  
  
~ And I don't want the world to see me  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am  
  
And I don't want the world to see me  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
  
I just want you to know who I am  
I just want you to know who I am  
I just want you to know who I am  
I just want you to know who I am ~  
  
Heading into the bathroom she nonchalantly cleaned her cut and headed straight for bed. Tomorrow, she knew, would hurt but to her it was worth it. If she didn't have Brooke she could still have her favorite stress management technique.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Brooke sat quietly, listening to the radio. When "Iris" came on she sighed. It was such a beautiful song and she could relate to it. She'd had all day to think and had come to one conclusion. She loved Nicole and she wanted Nicole but she didn't love her the way she wanted to love. Her feelings had betrayed her by giving her mixed signals but not that it was cleared up her conclusion was simple. Brooke McQueen was a lesbian. Nic had only been the most recent.  
  
Brooke had thought back as far as she could and found that everything she'd ever done was somehow connected to her liking of women. She'd even tied cheerleading into the mix. She'd had numerous female crushes and not even realized that's what they had been. The two that stuck out the most were Sam and Nicole. Sam was cute and Brooke wanted nothing more than to get in her pants but she had more decency than that and she wasn't the type to use people unless she had to. Nicole had been a bigger mess because she'd thought it was love though she finally concluded it was envy. She wanted Nicole's strength, self confidence, attitude and pride and her mind had confused those emotions for love.  
  
Now Brooke McQueen was on a mission. 'Tomorrow Brooke McQueen, you take a new look on life and begin finding your true path in life. Ok, that sounds complicated. Baby steps. Tomorrow I'll talk to Lily,' Brooke thought as she turned out the light.  
  
~~ End ~~ 


	4. Moonlight Rave (4/4)

Title: Moonlight Rave (4/4)  
Author: Melanie M./Shai/Misty AKA SailorFireStarr@aol.com/SSailorUranuss@aol.com  
Archive: please ASK if you want to archive it.  
Pairing: Sam/Nicole, Brooke/Lily  
Rating: R/NC-17  
Warnings: language, sexual content, etc.  
Disclaimers: I'm not privileged enough to own Popular or any of the characters, I'm just a thriving artist using the characters for my own bidding and twistedness.  
Comments: I really need feedback. Also, this chapter is short, sweet, to the point and it ends the series unless her majesty the Queen of Angst would like to torture the characters from this point forward. Yes Aeryn, I'm giving you permission to torture the characters in my fic if you'd like to add a twist or have some angsty fun with my storyline ^.^  
  
Moonlight Rave 4: The Truth  
  
Two days had gone by and Brooke McQueen was worried. It wasn't like Lily to miss more than one day of school at a time. That's why she'd been so relieved when she'd seen the Latina walk into the cafeteria on that third day. She took a deep breath and began to stand but planted herself back in her seat as soon as she spotted Nicole. 'Damn,' she mentally cursed. She watched Lily sit beside Carmen and silently begin to poke at her food.  
  
"Hey Lil, welcome back," Carmen whispered as she hugged her friend.  
  
Lily just about jumped out of her skin. "Carmen," she growled. Carmen automatically let go. "That hurt," she whispered in pain, holding back tears.  
  
"Sorry," Carm whispered, lowering her head.  
  
"Hey, it's not you're fault. I'm sorry I snapped at you but I cut myself on some glass and you hit the spot that hurts the most."  
  
"Oh, sorry. I didn't know."  
  
"It's ok, really."  
  
"What's ok?" Sam asked, sitting in front of both of them.  
  
"Nothing," Lily answered softly.  
  
"She had a bruise and I clumsily hit it," Carmen recovered.  
  
Sam raised a brow then shrugged. If they wanted to tell her, they would.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
"Lily. . ."  
  
"Brooke?"  
  
"Hey, I need to talk to you."  
  
"Um, ok. When and where?"  
  
"How about I give you a ride to your house so you can drop your stuff off and then we can go somewhere to talk?"  
  
"Sounds like a plan."  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Somehow they had ended up in the park professing their love for each other. They were still sitting in silence when they spotted Sam. This wasn't unusual, seeing Sam in the park but it was unusual seeing her and Nicole hand in hand talking and laughing. Both Lily and Brooke didn't know exactly what to do but they wanted to get this all straightened out, now.  
  
"Sam?"  
  
"Nic?"  
  
Sam spun around, knowing both of those voices too well. "Um. . ."  
  
"Would you mind explaining to me what the hell is going on here?" Brooke demanded, purposely clutching Lily's hand.  
  
"Well. . .um. . .I could ask you two the same thing."  
  
"What do you mean? Lily and I are together, is there a problem with that?"  
  
Nicole grinned. This whole thing had started out as a huge mess and now everything was working itself out. "Look Brookie, I have no problem with you two as an item. As a matter of fact you look kinda cute together. Since we're on the subject, Sam and I are actually something now, do either of you have a problem with that?"  
  
After the initial shock and a little hurt on Brooke's part, they both shook their heads.  
  
"Ok, this place is a bit crowded. What do you ladies say we go somewhere more private to talk more?" Nicole offered, ignoring the stares they were all receiving.  
  
They agreed and off they went in Nicole's car.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
After many hours of talking, screaming, crying and making up, the truth was finally out between the four girls. Sam and Nicole were curled up on Sam's bed, asleep and Brooke was in her room with Lily.  
  
"Take off your shirt, I wanna give you a back rub."  
  
"Um. . .can I take a rain check?"  
  
"C'mon Lil," Brooke whined.  
  
Lily sighed, defeated. She slowly too her shirt off, expecting a shriek of horror from Brooke when it was completely off. Instead she was shocked to hear a gasp and a whispered voice.  
  
"OMG! Lily, what happened?"  
  
"I. . .um. . .I cut myself," the Latina confessed.  
  
"Honey, you didn't cut yourself, you practically slashed yourself to bits. Why?"  
  
"I was upset. Old habit."  
  
Brooke realized what she meant and guilt began to seep into her. She lifted Lily's head and kissed her lips softly. "Hey, I'm here now. No more cutting. I'm yours Lily. Will you let me help you break that habit?"  
  
Lily smiled. Her and Brooke had only been together a matter of hours and here they were already solving each other's problems. Lily nodded. She would do anything for Brooke and if that meant she had to stop cutting, she would.  
  
Brooke laid beside Lily and softly whispered, "does it hurt?"  
  
"Only when people touch the scabs."  
  
"Oh Lily, I'm so sorry."  
  
"Don't be. It was me who did it not you."  
  
"But I provoked it."  
  
"Brooke, you made me feel things I'd never felt before and I overreacted. Please don't blame yourself. C'mon, we need to get some sleep."  
  
Brooke sighed and turned out the light. Things would get better. Everybody was happy and for now all of the world was at a standstill, for all of them. Feeling the Latina's warm, sleeping breathes on her neck Brooke couldn't help but smile. For the first time in her life she was content and happy. Nothing could ruin this for her. No fights, no harmful words, no glares, nothing would stand in the way of her happiness. There would be good times, there would be bad and she knew this but the one thing she knew would surpass all of the pain was love, her love. Her Lily.  
  
~~ End ~~ 


End file.
